Across 25 years of leading Transformation for global organisations, I’ve navigated high-stakes boardrooms and managed multi-million-pound budgets. I’ve always been a champion of Insights Discovery, priding myself on my self-awareness and my ability to flex my ‘colour energies’ to ensure my message lands. Yet, despite all that experience, I still managed to drop the ball. I took my eye off the relationship – and the results were a wake-up call.

The Question That Stopped Me Cold

I was having monthly one-to-one meetings with a senior European MD – let’s call him Jason. I’d arrive on time, give him the information he needed and update him on the projects he was funding. I knew he was a busy man, so I treated his time like gold dust. I was precise, direct and efficient.

At the end of one particular meeting, Jason looked at me and asked: “Sarah, why are you so negative?”

It stung. I’m a ‘people person’ with a positive outlook. Where had this come from? I was initially puzzled. As I walked away, I realised my efficiency was being misread as a lack of enthusiasm – or worse, that I maybe lacked faith in his projects. Either of these could cause him concern about the impact on his project’s success. 

The Expert’s Blind Spot

I went back to my own Insights Discovery profile. At the time, I was leading with a heavy Fiery Red energy. I had been communicating with Jason using a “Be Brief, Be Bright, Be Gone” approach that is typical of someone that leads with a Fiery Red. 

The irony? I had used Insights for years to build relationships, yet I’d forgotten it when communicating with Jason. His seniority lead me to assume I should get through the meeting as quickly and efficiently as possible. I had defaulted to my busy work-mode – Fiery Red – when really I needed to be ‘dialling up’ my Sunshine Yellow energy.

So what does this mean?

When I finally stopped thinking about the data and started looking at Jason, the Sunshine Yellow clues I had been ignoring were everywhere! His desk was a gallery of family photos and souvenirs. He had trophies to celebrate his team’s success on the shelving. He even had a sofa nearby for personal chats – no wall of monitors hiding him away. For Jason, speaking about deadlines, risks and resources made him switch off…

The Pivot for a Sunshine Yellow

People with a high Sunshine Yellow energy are optimistic, visionary, relationship-focussed and crave connection. But here’s the trap: when you meet them with data, information and efficiency it can backfire. To them, this approach isn’t just efficient, it’s draining. If the atmosphere feels too formal or clinical, they stop seeing a delivery partner and start seeing a sceptic.

The next time we met, I didn’t open my laptop. I shared a story about a team win. I used ‘we’ and ‘us’ instead of ‘the project’. I made eye contact more often. I wasn’t talking about project stages and processes I was talking about outcomes, concerns and I mentioned people by name. I asked how he felt things were going, listened to his views and followed up with questions to understand more. It was the same ‘meeting’ in my head, but a very different method of communicating. The change was almost instant. The negative label was gone. Because I was now speaking Jason’s language, he wasn’t just hearing me – he was listening.

The Power Skills

Once I realigned with the Insights principles I knew so well, the business results flowed:

• Jason began proactively seeking my input earlier in the process
• It was easier for me to negotiate time in Jason’s diary when I needed it, through his PA
• Chaser emails became a thing of the past because we had a relationship built on trust
• Because the MD was now fully bought-in, the project was moving faster.

Would Your Team Benefit From Finding A Better Way?

If you feel like you’re pushing water uphill with your stakeholders, it’s rarely a ‘work’ problem – it’s usually a communication mismatch.

At Borderless we run Insights Discovery workshops that help teams find the ‘lightbulb moment’ I had with Jason. Whether you’re new to the tool or, like me, you just need a reminder to put it back into practice, I can help.

Message us today, and let’s book a quick chat to see how I can help your team win at stakeholder relationships.